Everyone Cries Sometimes
by Jubalii
Summary: It was only after he was gone that she realized the nature of her own soul, and how it could shatter. Yes, I sure did fulfill my dream of writing a IxAA. Slightly non-canon, but isn't this whole pairing non-canon? Rated T for implied sexy-times.


Author's Note: Why is there not more of this pairing? I mean, I know why. It's not that popular a pairing, and it's even sorta my crack pairing, but I still would love to read more about it. (Huff)  
_Anyway_, this could go hand-in-hand with CeI, but it can also stand by itself as a one-shot. Do with it what you will.

**I went back in time and convinced a guy named Hirano-san to make a manga with me called Hellsing. Sadly, on my return to the future I had to give up his life, or my claim to Hellsing. I just couldn't kill that face. So now I don't own Hellsing. (Shrugs)**

* * *

She flew straight into the air, her bed clothes floating around her as she awoke. Panting, she stared around the familiar room, coming back to reality. She sighed, curling up on the bed and throwing off her covers. It had been a full three months since the Millennium War had ended, and they had been tumultuous times as England was rebuilt and the shaken world sent spinning into normality.

But now that the status quo had been set and the people sleeping soundly in their beds again, she was left restless. And that's when the nightmares had come. No, they weren't nightmares because she wasn't afraid. But the dreams were traumatic all the same. They were of _him_, the last person she wanted to think of at this point; the one person she couldn't forget.

Their time together had been brief and rushed. What had brought it on? How long had it lasted? She couldn't remember; the times they had been in made many do strange, unusual things. But the ghosts of their meeting were still there; on her skin, in her hair, on her tongue…. It was pure torture to remember, so she didn't. But she couldn't stop her dreams as they emerged from the depths of her soul in the darkness. Those dreams weren't rushed or hurried-instead the flames that had burned between them was kindled and ended up a raging roar as she awoke breathless; the last tendrils of his hands on her dwindling back into her memory.

She pulled her knees tighter to her chest, burying her eyes as far into her legs as the bandages would allow. Good Lord, if she could only stop _feeling _him so keenly- it was always just lust, never more. Or, that's what she kept telling herself. She refused to think of the times that she stared at him from the corner of her eye as he stood beside his superiors. He didn't feel the same; it was just the same quick, rash decisions that led them to the cold stone wall. He'd never even been close to her before that-no. That wasn't right.

She sat up, her mind flying back to the long ago night where he stood against her, his blades on either side of her head; her men dead at his feet. He'd called her a "Jessie" and smirked as he denounced all Protestants, but for the single moment she'd stared straight into his eyes and saw what he was; something flickered between them-there! In that moment-those green eyes, that had stared at her with lust and gentleness as they moved as one, forsaking all vows of celibacy and Christendom for one night in Hell, with the fires of demons burning between them and sending them both into worldly bliss….

And she had saw those same green eyes go blank, covered in vines and thorns as he gave his own life to kill the monster she called "servant". She had stood safely out of harm's way, her face cool and composed but inside-no inside she was a crying woman, calling out to him. She could have sworn that he heard her heart; those eyes had shifted a moment toward her as the life left the priest to which they belonged. Suddenly the fragments, all the times that they had shared together as both enemies and allies-as lovers-swam in front of her eyes until they blurred together.

"Damn it all_, _but I _loved him!"_ she howled, the tears bursting forth as she covered her eyes with the blanket. And damn her, but that stupid Draculina- who only had to hear the woman sniff and would come running-opened the door and had to see her like this.

"Sir? What's the matter?" Embarrassed, she couldn't help but throw away the blanket with tears streaming down her face as she tried her best to sound commanding in her sobbing state.

"Did I call for you, servant? Go away and leave me alone!" she cried, wiping the tears from her face as fast as they came. Seras refused a direct order (she'd have to tack her out in the sun!) and walked over to the bed, putting her arm around the older woman.

"Sir, it's okay. Please, tell me what's wrong." She tried to stop the tears, but the look on her servant's face, and her own mental weakness, and God but she was humiliated but she couldn't help it! She threw her arms around the young vampire and began her tears anew.

"I loved him and I can't even-I'll never see him again!" she blubbered, hiding her face in Seras' shoulder. She felt the Draculina hug her tightly and pat her on the back, being extremely gentle.

"It's okay Sir Integra. It's alright; it's going to be alright. Just wait until morning, you'll see." Seras tried to comfort her, but she knew that no morning would ever make it _right_ again. She shook her head and continued to sniffle, knowing that Seras-the child who hadn't known any sort of true love- would never understand what it meant to feel true heartbreak. To watch your own soul be ripped apart, and gladly walk into Hell to follow the other half. She simply bawled until her tears were gone, saying nothing.

She pulled back, wiping her eyes finally for the last time. Licking her lips, she reached over to a bedside table and got a white kerchief, blowing her nose loudly. Seras patiently sat on the end of the bed with a wet shoulder, her eyes glowing burgundy in the moonlight. She suddenly felt mortified, unable to look at the servant she'd just shown such a…blatant display of weakness to.

"I apologize for that, Seras. I don't know what came over me," she whispered, her cheeks red. Seras shook her head, smiling.

"Don't apologize, Sir. Everyone cries sometimes. Now if you need me, please call. For anything; I'm here to talk to you." She nodded, and her servant, her…friend phased through the floor and back to her warm coffin. She knew she'd never willingly take Seras' advice or offer, but it was nice to have all the same. She frowned slightly as she rubbed the tiny bump that was getting harder to hide every day. Somehow, she figured this would be the first of many almost-sleepless nights.

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Afterword: Wo-ho-ho I'm done. With this. Did you like it? Please leave me a comment if you did. Did you hate it and want to kill me and stake me up like you were an impaler? Please leave me a comment and I'll just….look at it and shrug, flicking my scarf like a boss. No; _like a baows_.


End file.
